Why Men Look for Women Without a Past
By all appearances, it has never been as hard as it is today for a man to find the right woman. For many men, the picture of the right one looks like this: She should be pretty, educated, confident and have both feet firmly on the ground. But what makes a woman like that? What makes her exactly the woman men are hoping for? The answer: her past. And that is precisely what sometimes scares men. Men look for women without a past.
The Perfect Woman - Or Maybe Not
Say he runs into her by chance one evening at a bar. He sees her and is instantly taken with her looks. First box - pretty - ticked. He starts talking to her. The two chat for a while, including about world events in general. He is visibly impressed. Second box - educated - also ticked. After a while she says goodbye, but gives him her number. So, third box - confident - jackpot! Of course they text and call each other over the next few days, and they meet up, too. Everything seems to be going great. After a while, though, he stops getting in touch. What happened? This pretty, educated, confident woman has a past.
Past = Fear of the Future
A woman who has both feet firmly on the ground got there somehow. In most cases, a woman like that has been through quite a lot in her past. Usually not only good things. Women like this often carry a heavy backpack around with them, and have fears, doubts or even mental health struggles. They don't show it right away, though. Only once they have found someone they trust. And that is where the problem starts for most men. At some point the woman tells the man her story. He quickly realizes that this confident woman is actually very fragile. Now, of course, he starts to think. Can I handle this? What will the future with her look like?
Men Look for Women Without a Past
The fact is, men think about these things more than women believe. When they think they have found the woman of their life, they want to look ahead to the future with her and, ideally, know nothing about her past. It unsettles them to know how many men she had before him, and which of them mattered most to her. It scares them that the woman at their side may be emotionally unstable because of past experiences - even if that is rare. How are they supposed to deal with that? Will it last? What happens when things get a bit more stressful? But the fact is also that these women are (more) confident BECAUSE they were once vulnerable. They are educated BECAUSE in the past they were made out to be airheads. The reason she is who she is today is, quite simply, her past. She wasn't born this way. And the fact that she trusts him enough to tell him all of this should show him that he has no reason to fear the future.