Why Some Men Don't Want to Get Married

When women meet a new partner and the relationship is going well, it is usually their heart's desire to marry the person they love. Men tend to see marriage more pragmatically. For them, living together is often proof enough of their love. If marriage is a must for you, you should talk about it early on in the relationship when looking for a partner. Not on the first date, of course - that would send any man running - but gradually the topic should come up in conversation at some point.

The reasons why men don't want to get married:

Many men already have failed marriages or relationships behind them and ask themselves whether the current relationship will really last "forever." They are unsure and afraid of the final step. When a man doesn't want to get married, that doesn't mean he doesn't love his partner. But he is afraid of being left holding the short end of the stick at the end of a relationship, whether because he would lose his home or assets in a divorce, or because a divorce means a complicated legal matter with a lot of effort (counterargument: a prenup). Men also live with the fear that the relationship might change after the wedding. Another reason is men's need for freedom. Women see security and a sense of safety in marriage; men don't need to say "I do" in front of a justice of the peace to feel they belong with a woman. He usually says: "If I didn't love you, I wouldn't be with you." But marriage also means responsibility for a man, and not everyone is up to it. Some men also simply live in the moment and never think of changing this happy state of affairs.

Men who don't want to get married - can women change that?

The thought of marriage often has negative associations for men. To them, getting married means being trapped, having to give up their own life, and they fear that everyday routine and constant togetherness will kill the love and the spark. Women can change that. Make it clear to your partner how much marriage means to you, that he would be fulfilling your need for safety and security, and that for the children you want to have together, it is nicer to be one family with a shared name. Playfully steer his imagination toward a lovely married everyday life (When my husband comes home, I will...). Ask your partner why he doesn't want to get married. Maybe he doesn't have that many arguments at all and just needs some time to think before getting used to the idea. Most men basically leave everything as it is, unless they are challenged and have to change something. So, dear ladies: don't wait for him to propose on his own. Take the initiative and convince your partner - and if that doesn't work, he surely loves you anyway.